How do you change your life? You change it by changing your inner stories.
“The mystery of life isn’t a problem to solve, but a reality to experience.” – William Wordsworth
How do you see yourself and life? Do you see problems or do you see experiences? Are you full of awe and wonder for this adventure called life or are you limited by the cages of beliefs?
The stories you tell yourself have a direct impact on the quality of your life. They either empower you and strengthen your confidence or they disempower you, making you the prisoner of the limitations you inherited from your ancestors.
Where do your inner stories come from?
Imagine that from the day you were born your parents instill in your mind that life is wonderful and you are here to explore your talents and your uniqueness. Imagine that from day one you got the message that your no 1 task in life is to discover what matters to you, to discover what your soul wants to experience and manifest in this life in its own beautiful and unique way.
By exploring your talents and following your soul’s dreams you would know that you would contribute immensely to the well-being of our whole human family.
Imagine that this is the programming that you got from your parents and other significant people in your life. This is the message you heard from day one on this planet.
How would your life look like now?
How would you feel about yourself?
Why isn’t it this way?
What messages did you get instead?
The stories we hear about ourselves and life determine our identity and our perception of the reality we live in. These stories have also a direct impact on what you think you can or can’t do in life.
Here are some examples of the most common limiting stories that prevent you from changing your life. Check if you see yourself in any of them. They will be the ones you need to change in order to change your life in a sustainable way.
“I need to be perfect.”
“Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.” – Salvador Dali
The story of perfection is one of the secret killers of our dreams. It also inhibits any possibility for growth. It might be nice to contemplate that you are going to do something in a perfect way but reprogramming your mind to understand that it is the mistakes that make us grow will open you up to the whole level of life experiences.
Instead of striving for perfection, focus on progress. Progress is perfectly enough. Progress means that you are growing and that is all you need to order to create the life that you want.
“There isn’t enough.”
“The first step to discarding scarcity mentality involves giving thanks for everything that you have.” – Wayne Dyer
More often than not, we are conditioned to believe in scarcity. We are programmed to think that it is either me or you.
Since childhood, we hear the message that we always need more. More time, more money, more resources of all kinds. We are not enough as we are. We are inadequate and this pursuit to have more is supposed to cover that inadequacy.
Unfortunately, most of us live in a scarcity culture that divides us. We think we are separate from each other and it is either you or me that will win this endless race.
How can you change this story of scarcity and open yourself to more abundance?
The easiest way to overcome the limits of poverty thinking is to start acknowledging all the good things, people, experiences that you do have in your life. Focus your mind on gratitude.
“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” – Zig Ziglar
The above quote by Zig Ziglar is very true. Making gratitude your daily practice will dissolve the ties of the scarcity mindset. You will start seeing that there are enough resources for all of us. Life will stop being about racing with other human fellows. Instead, it will become a peaceful walk in the park that we can take together.
“I can’t…”
“Whether you think you can or you can’t, you are right.” – Henry Ford
The stories we get from our parents, teachers and other caregivers, unfortunately, very often diminish the sense of our inner power. We are told that we are unable to craft our life.
The prevailing belief is that there are outer forces that determine the course of our lives. In the best-case scenario, we end up feeling very confused about who is really in charge of our fate. In the worst-case scenario, we give up altogether and let these mysterious outer forces dictate the course of our lives.
Instead of giving in to this limiting belief, imagine a completely different scenario.
You were born an artist, equipped with your own unique talents to paint your own reality. Your life is your canvas and the world is waiting for you to show your talents and tell your unique, unrepeatable, quirky story.
How can you reconnect to your inner artist and the energy of the “I can” belief? One of the tools you might incorporate in your daily routine is what Julia Cameron called “morning pages” in her book (and creativity course), “The artist’s way”.
Every day in the morning, write three pages of whatever comes to your mind. Without judgement, without any preconceived notions about how this practice should look like, just write whatever comes to your mind.
“There is no wrong way to do morning pages. (…) The morning pages are not supposed to sound smart – although sometimes they might. Most times they won’t, and nobody will ever know except you. Nobody is allowed to read your morning pages except you. And you shouldn’t even read them yourself for the first eight weeks or so. Just write three pages, and stick them into an envelope. Or write three pages in a spiral notebook and don’t leaf back through. Just write three pages…” – Julia Cameron
Julia Cameron’s book and the course are focused on reconnecting you with your inner artist. It is a 12-week course and there are a lot of tasks and self-exploration activities that are designed to overcome the limiting stories that were instilled in your mind. Morning pages are a practice that Julia recommends you do every single day.
From my own experience, I can say that although on some days, it is quite a drag to write three pages, there are some shifts in your mind happening to get you reconnected not only with your inner artist but also with the attitude that maybe, just maybe “you can”.
Another strategy that might help you reprogram your subconscious mind and change your inner story is to start a journal with all your successes. You might be surprised how your attitude will change once you see how much you have already achieved, how many things you were able to do.
“I’m too old…” or “I’m too young…”
“If you take your mind to a level of functioning that is beyond age, then your body will begin to be touched by the same quality.” – Wayne Dyer
Another myth that is often passed on from generation to generation is the age myth. Have you ever said that you are too old or too young to do what you wanted to do? If the answer is “yes”, you are certainly not alone.
The truth is that you can always decide to change your life. Even if you are in your fifties or sixties, the chances are that you have still a few decades of life ahead of you. Would you rather spend it in the cage of your limiting stories and beliefs or would you rather spread your wing and fly towards your dreams?
You are as old or as young as you feel inside. Remind yourself of this truth and gradually your inner story will change.
Did any of the above most common limiting stories resonate with you? If it didn’t, analyse the messages you used to get from your parents and look for patterns. Your limiting story will emerge from all of the childhood voices that programmed your subconscious mind.
If the above stories resonated with you, you can decide right now what new story you would like to write for yourself.
Once you have a new vision in mind, you need to make this new vision real for yourself. Here are some steps that will help you make this new story sustainable.
Steps to make the new story sustainable
Check your habits
Once you’ve decided If you want to make your new story sustainable you will need to take a closer look at your habits.
Be honest with yourself, which habits are not supporting you in creating a new story about yourself and life? Let’s say that you want to create a story about you being a fit and healthy person but you tend to get up at night and have a midnight snack. This habit certainly does not support your story and it will have to be changed.
While you are examining your current habits, make sure that you make room for new habits like journaling about your success or doing the morning pages. You are the creator of your stories and your daily routines. Remember that you are making all these changes because you want to get out of the prison of the limitations of your own mind.
Affirm your new story
In order to change your life, you need to affirm your new story. Make it feel real right now before you even see any tangible changes happening in your life.
There are various ways in which you can do it. You can write affirmations and read them a few times a day. If you choose this method, please remember that words alone won’t probably work. You need to create the feelings in you that this new vision is already manifesting in your life. Words and positive emotions that awake in you will make affirmations work.
Another way to reprogram your subconscious mind and instil your new story there is through visualisation. Every day just after you wake up, imagine yourself living your new story. The best moments to reconnect with your vision and your story are early morning or just before you go to sleep. See yourself live the life that you want, and be patient. It takes time to see the results of reprogramming your mind. If you are consistent, the results will come sooner than later.
If you like guided meditations, listen to one of my meditations that is meant to help you manifest your dream life. It will help you make your new story more real in your mind.
Take action
Sitting at home and devoting yourself to only visualisations and affirmations won’t work unless you also take some action.
Once you have clarity about what new story you would like to instil in your subconscious mind, think about what small steps you can take in order to start turning your story into reality.
Start with something simple. For example, if you discover that you would really go back to your lifelong dream and be a writer, schedule time to sit down in a quiet place and write every day. Start from 15 mins or half an hour, not more. It will be easier to find extra 15 mins in your day for writing than the whole hour.
It is important to start taking these small steps to change your life. They will fill you up with fresh energy and they will show your subconscious mind that this new story is really the dominant story. You live and breathe it.
Once your subconscious mind sees that you are serious about making these changes, your inner programming will change and you will start noticing that life is giving you more and more opportunities to live according to your new stories.
Be kind to yourself
As I said earlier, it takes time to reprogram your subconscious mind and change your life. These changes won’t happen within minutes. You need to be committed to changing your inner programming.
Your circumstances won’t change overnight so please don’t be frustrated or depressed if, after a week of doing all the new practices, you won’t see any results.
We all have our inner critics and it is important that you are kind to yourself and keep your inner critic quiet. You certainly don’t want to be dragged to your old stories that say that nothing is in your control.
If you struggle to keep your inner critic quiet, please watch my video where I discuss various strategies that will help you stop negative self-talk. You can also read my article about different ways that will help you develop self-love.
Surround yourself with supportive people
If you want to change your life, you need to review your inner circle. Are you surrounded by people who support you and wish you well or do you have a lot of negative people around you? Have a closer look at who you spend time with and make sure you are surrounded by people who care about you and who support the changes you want to make in your life.
Your inner story determines who you think you are and what you can and can’t do in life. It takes an effort to create and implement your new empowering story in your life. Luckily, you don’t have to do it on your own, if you need any help, please reach out. We can do it together!