What story are you telling yourself at the beginning of the new year? The story of self-empowerment or the story of self-criticism?
Since early childhood, we have been programming our mind with various stories. Each of them contributes either to our well-being and happiness or to our misery and unhappiness. These stories concern all areas of our lives. They define what we perceive as safe and what we perceive as a threat. They determine what we think it’s possible or impossible for us to achieve. They all contribute to the general self-image that we create in our mind, and this self-image influences our behaviour and how we present ourselves in the world.
How do you recognise the story that you have created in your mind?
One simple exercise that you might do on your own is completing the following sentence: “I am someone who…”.
Do it in the context of health, money and love and see what comes to the surface. For example, if you write that you are someone who would like to be more self-confident, remind yourself how you feel when you lack self-confidence and then change the image into seeing yourself as a confident person in exactly the same scenario. Immerse yourself totally in this vision of the confident self and really feel it.
Support the new story
Creating a new story in your mind might not be enough to make a permanent change in your beliefs. You need to support it with some evidence from the outside world. If you suffer from low self-confidence, notice any tiny bit of evidence of your confidence that will support your new commitment to become even more self-confident. Celebrating your victories is a great way to gradually release self-doubt and start feeling better about yourself.
Surround yourself with supportive people
Surround yourself with people who lift you up instead of bringing you down. Avoid those ones who tend to trigger your self-doubting thoughts and nurture your negative self-image.
Stop comparing yourself to others
It is not worth playing the game of social comparisons. There will always be someone smarter or better looking than you. To avoid falling into the trap of comparing yourself to others, you need to regularly remind yourself that others’ perfection is only an illusion. Your Facebook friend might proudly announced that he has just had his first novel published but he might have forgotten to mention that he was rejected dozens of times before he finally found a publisher willing to publish his book. Comparisons are like a toxin going through your mind. It’s much better to just focus on the new self-image that you want to create.
Create the vision of yourself you want to cultivate. Feel it through all of your senses. That’s how you can train your mind to start believing that it is true, and once your mind believes it to be true, it will be manifested in your life.